I could have mohawked her pubes.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
