The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
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