can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Dignity is for republicans.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize