we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
