My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
