my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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