Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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