it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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