DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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