Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I feel like death gave me a hand job
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
