I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Be still, my beating vagina.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
