That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize