You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
