I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
