Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
