The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
