Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
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