He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
