somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
