Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
