He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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