its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize