she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
