i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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