plz talk dirty to me
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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