hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
