how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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