I will die if light touches me.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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