I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Randomize
