This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
