Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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