is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize