Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I got inside last night via doggy door
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I pour the whiskey from now on
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
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