Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
