He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
accomplished twins. life is a go
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
