How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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