Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I'm bleeding and have questions
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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