please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
then he tried to convert me to islam
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
