I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Randomize
