it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
You ruined the universe
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
