Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
