every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
