who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
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