HIV tests are more positive than that guy
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
