apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
