Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize