i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
We're too hungover to prance.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
