with your own penis?
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
two words...techno handjob
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
