so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
love makes seman taste better
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
