Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize