Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
