There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
