whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
