we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize
