stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
