Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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