Who did Billy Mays play for?
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Randomize
