Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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