hell yes lets make some ravioli
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
