did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
