my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Randomize