ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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