i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
