: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Randomize
