oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Randomize
