but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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