the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
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