she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
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