I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
YAS. BRING CRAB.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
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