bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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