Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
