just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
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