She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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